Guess Who’s Back? Back Again!

After a lengthy break, I’ve decided that I will return to religiously writing to my blog. No, I didn’t forget it existed (well….maybe I did). I have simply just come to realize that I physically cannot function without purging words. And so the blog will continue, so please tag along with me as I catch up on the past two (or whatever) months I’ve neglected all of you. My apologies. It won’t happen again (anytime soon).

Last, I left you with my Dear Abby posts! I am really excited about them and I need to start promoting them again. I’ve gotten some really cool questions and I love giving advice. If you haven’t asked a question, don’t be scared. IT’S ANONYMOUS!! I promise… and I don’t lie. And even if you aren’t brave enough to ask Abby for some help, at least tell a friend because someone will always be in need of a little advice.

Okay moving on from the self-promoting, before the Dear Abby posts, most of my posts were short poems and random spurts of mindless babbling. Thank you and I’m sorry if that’s all you’ve seen thus far. I vow to be more insightful and thought provoking, hopefully.

Before that…. I made a list of things I wanted to do while at school. Lets take a look at that (again) and I will tell you what exactly I did end up accomplishing (and again).


What To Do, What To Do?

  1. Find a decent hike in Fort Worth  I wouldn’t necessarily call it a hike, but I did go kayaking in the Trinity River… that was kind of weird. I also stayed earthy with Caitlin while we hammocked (it’s a verb) frequently.
  2. Attain a few vintage items  I wouldn’t necessarily say that I found it in Fort Worth… or even Texas for that matter. But, I am proud to announce that I, Tara McQueen, finally own a vintage Polaroid camera. It has yet to be used, because I don’t have film or paper yet. Someone come help me figure it out.
  3. Search for the perfect book store  Finally! This one I accomplished. I am really thrilled about this because it was such a fluke. Caitlin and I had set out to go look at two bookstores in town. Unfortunately, we were stuck in traffic for about 45 and missed both stores seeing as they closed at 5 and that’s when FW traffic is even worse than normal. So we found ourselves lost on Magnolia when I ran into a dinky little bus on the side of the road. The WOW bus. http://www.thewowbus.com Go check them out! They would love some new people to be browsing around for some cool books.
  4. Find a new favorite book  Don’t laugh at me, but I am telling you finals week was the best week of my life. I read ALL of my books in that one week. I will say I’ve never felt so inspired, luckily I used that for testing which left no inspiration for writing… Oh well, it was used effectively. I would also like to add that I currently just read The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton. I never read it in High School, but I am glad I finally found the chance to this summer. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend it. I read it in a day or two. So easy, but so good.


    Nothing Gold Can Stay Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. 



  5. Get a music education  Lesli downloaded The Beatles first album. I obsessed over Ellie Goulding and cried over the fact that I didn’t get to see her perform when I literally had 5 chances. That is all.
  6. Write a song  Lesli and I both wrote a song, and never put music to it. Yay us. But, we did discover how to harmonize (Lesli won’t agree) to Hallelujah and I learned to play that on the piano. That’s pretty exciting.
  7. Go to the drive-in theater This is literally the EASIEST thing to do on my list and I failed. I failed miserably. In my defense it rained and was cold whenever I wanted to go. I also don’t have a truck. Yeah, I have enough excused to put this off until next year. Any takers? Anyone have a truck and down to see a movie? Cool beans. Hit me up.
  8. Attend a concert  Like I said, pissed I didn’t get to see Ellie Goulding, but stoked cuz Caitlin and I randomly got to see Scotty McCreery one night. I was also lucky enough to attend Stagecoach Country Music Festival in Indio, California. Caitlin, Teresa, and I had a blast! And since Hunter Hayes was so great I decided to buy tickets to his show tomorrow night at the Del Mar Fair. Yee Haw.
  9. Dress up  100% dressed up nearly every day the whole year. I am really proud of this. In appreciation of my efforts, I let myself off on the last night of school and went to the bars in just a plain tee and lululemon shorts. Yeah… I did it! whataryagonnadoboutit?
  10. Get a job oops

Thanks for catching up with me, readers! Stay posted! Congratulations to all of the graduates this year. Have the happiest of summers!

 

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Perfection

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Polished nails. Professionally blown out hair. Tanned skin. Toned Stomach. Proper posture. Intelligent. Sophisticated. Poised. Respected. Ambitious.

 We strive to personify our own perspective of perfection. We can’t deny it. I do it all the time. As much as I hate to admit I care what other people think. It is a form of security to get validation from our peers. A gold star in other words. Am I living for myself or are my friends puppeteers gradually stringing me on from one impossible task to another?  My precious alone time is the single ounce of freedom I get hiding from this discombobulated world.  It is the one place I am not looking for the ever so lovely gold star. Without the intruding thoughts of others and that is when I am content. Alone. I suppose that seems rather depressing.  I absolutely hated the idea of being lonely. I have recently discovered that being alone has a small relation to being lonely. In fact I feel more content and secure. I am not obsessing over the small things that dictate my life. When I am alone it as if everything is possible even the ability to change some of the things I can’t control. I am absorbing the solitude and letting go of the expectations.

As soon as I unravel from my cocoon of self-worth, I step out into the intimidating universe before me. I enter this judgmental door to the outsiders. I let in all the criticism, pessimism, and nihilism that society holds us with. How silly and presumptuous are we to have the audacity to even try to label this world and their assumptions and societal views of perfection. We can’t be perfect at everything. We have to remember to share ourselves with the actions and fill ourselves with the thoughts that better suit us and not anyone else. We can try to want to love running or rigorously working out till our bodies ache, but do we really love running or the idea of it. We should no longer pretend to be something we are not. It can’t be healthy to pretend in front of ourselves. We have the ability to love whatever we want and we are capable of making our own decisions and following our own plans for living the way we ought to.

If you are a believer of Christ I have a word of advice that I was blessed with hearing the other day. If we are followers of societal nature what is holding us back from following the Lord’s plans for our future? We may not seem perfect in the eyes of our peers or even our own eyes; but the truth is we are perfect in God’s eyes and that is always enough.