Discombobulated, but don’t judge me.

“Oh, I can’t have that. I am GLUTEN-FREE.”

God forbid I say the word. Hey its not like I am vegetarian, or even worse, vegan. But all jokes aside, abstaining from certain food seems almost unavoidable, especially on a college campus. And if you are hoping that I can lay down the law and give you the play by play on how to eat at the dinning hall, you are sorely mistaken. I’m comparing gluten-free to a bigger picture. Hopefully, you will be able take a deeper meaning away from it.

 

Dating bio 1: I like long walks on the beach. I prefer red roses. I can make you smile and cook you dinner. I give good back massages and I will play with your dog. I can’t stand being alone.

 

Dating bio 2: I love to explore and travel to adventurous places. I am a hippie at heart, but can enjoy reading a book indoors by a fire. I can cook you vegan food and decorate your house. I can’t stand the color black.

 

Dating bio 3: I love vanilla perfume and clean bathrooms. Don’t put pillows on my couch. I’ll take you to baseball games and let you meet my friends. Sometimes when I watch sports I need my space.

 

Dating bio 4: I am an artist and I crave inspiration. Don’t kill my vibe. I am a gourmet chef… sometimes mac n cheese is also gourmet. I prefer cats before dogs. I’ll let you choose the dinner and movie.

 

Which person would you choose? Take your time. Think about your date or person or whatever now while reading this. We will come back to this so don’t worry.

 

On an average day you stress over the little things.

Shoot next time I’ll study harder because (insert name) got a better grade. Unacceptable.

Oh my god, my hair is ratchet. I wish it was naturally straight. You’re so lucky your hair is simple.

Why can’t I have her closet? Like seriously…

She is so popular. Everyone loves her. Why can’t that be me?

 

Don’t compare your beginnings with someone else’s middle.

 

Now let’s take a peak at the polar opposite. Yes we think with lust and greed, but we also think with distaste and cruelty.

Dear lord, what is she wearing? Silver and gold… really? C’mon.

When I count to five that annoying girl better stop stalking.

If he didn’t wear wranglers with sneakers he’d maybe have potential.

She would drive a range rover.

 

Okay face it. We say it. Maybe not aloud, but most definitely in our head. Let’s be so proud of ourselves… after all we all know “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” We don’t have to keep our mouths shut. However, we have to keep our minds open.

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Think back to your date/person or whatever. You’ve never even met them and I bet you had at least one doubt or one tweak you’d make for this person. Did you avoid the opposite gender? What did your date look like? Could you marry someone like that?

Trick questions. I never specified the genders. I never gave one detail about their appearance. And I surely didn’t give you a reason to spend your life with this person. You hardly even know them.

Pause… you don’t know any of them. How can you judge them?

Exactly. So when we compare ourselves to someone else or even when we compare people to others, we are constantly judging.

“you know me, but you don’t know my story.”

Laugh all you want about this sassy statement. But it is the truth.

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Comparison is the thief of joy. – Theodore Roosevelt

 

So next time that skinny chick says she can’t eat bread, don’t be quick to judge. She may be gluten intolerant or maybe she is counting her calories. Who cares? Don’t waste your time on details that are irrelevant. Let people live their lives in peace.

 

“When I look at a person, I see a person – not a rank, not a class, not a title.”

Criss Jami

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Just side note. You can use your skills to an advantage. Comparison isn’t always evil.

 

Comparison with myself brings improvement; comparison with others brings discontent. –Betty Jamie Chung

 

Study harder because you deserve a grade you are proud of.

Fix up your hair so you can feel confident.

Create new outfits so you can be comfortable in your own skin.

Be the best you can be. You can’t please everyone, so first please yourself.

There I said it, I laid down the law. Be nice. It is so easy. Be careful, but be carefree. Live freely and peacefully and hope others will do the same. You may not be able to avoid unhealthy food in the dinning hall, but you can avoid passing judgment. 

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Babbling

“Don’t bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook.”

My interpretation: Keep your guard up and reveal only what you should until you know it’s safe to share more.

AJ’s interpretation: Don’t act for now, until you understand the motives to your actions.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks” 

My interpretation: It certainly has little to do with the actual words that are said, but most definitely the way the words have been said and to which extent those words have been sorted and processed with feedback. Curious minds pick apart the details and it is less about the over arching theme of the conversation, but more about the potency for each particular word or string of words.

AJ’s interpretation: Reaching a conclusion is not whats important, understanding the inception of the process that guided you there is.

“Art is anything you can get away with.”

My interpretation: A chaotic mind is far from illness; it possesses an artistic view of the world. One in which the world has yet to understand, like abstract art. But surely it will be beautiful and accepted, just as other forms of art have.

AJ’s (much better) interpretation: Art is anything that attracts pompous, condescending suitors, that of whom will not hesitate to tell you of their interpretation of the work in question.

Perfection

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Polished nails. Professionally blown out hair. Tanned skin. Toned Stomach. Proper posture. Intelligent. Sophisticated. Poised. Respected. Ambitious.

 We strive to personify our own perspective of perfection. We can’t deny it. I do it all the time. As much as I hate to admit I care what other people think. It is a form of security to get validation from our peers. A gold star in other words. Am I living for myself or are my friends puppeteers gradually stringing me on from one impossible task to another?  My precious alone time is the single ounce of freedom I get hiding from this discombobulated world.  It is the one place I am not looking for the ever so lovely gold star. Without the intruding thoughts of others and that is when I am content. Alone. I suppose that seems rather depressing.  I absolutely hated the idea of being lonely. I have recently discovered that being alone has a small relation to being lonely. In fact I feel more content and secure. I am not obsessing over the small things that dictate my life. When I am alone it as if everything is possible even the ability to change some of the things I can’t control. I am absorbing the solitude and letting go of the expectations.

As soon as I unravel from my cocoon of self-worth, I step out into the intimidating universe before me. I enter this judgmental door to the outsiders. I let in all the criticism, pessimism, and nihilism that society holds us with. How silly and presumptuous are we to have the audacity to even try to label this world and their assumptions and societal views of perfection. We can’t be perfect at everything. We have to remember to share ourselves with the actions and fill ourselves with the thoughts that better suit us and not anyone else. We can try to want to love running or rigorously working out till our bodies ache, but do we really love running or the idea of it. We should no longer pretend to be something we are not. It can’t be healthy to pretend in front of ourselves. We have the ability to love whatever we want and we are capable of making our own decisions and following our own plans for living the way we ought to.

If you are a believer of Christ I have a word of advice that I was blessed with hearing the other day. If we are followers of societal nature what is holding us back from following the Lord’s plans for our future? We may not seem perfect in the eyes of our peers or even our own eyes; but the truth is we are perfect in God’s eyes and that is always enough.