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DEAR ABBY – THE PURGED WORD
Hey guys. This is awesome. Thanks to everyone who posted questions to the link above. The first day went really well. Below are the Dear Abby questions and responses. Let me know what you think. Keep continuing to post on my ask page. Y’all are awesome.
***If you feel like you want to view a more immediate response, please check this page http://thepurgedword.tumblr.com (its the same page but without the /ask). I will try to respond as quickly as I can. At the end of each week I will take all the questions and responses and pile them together and post it here! Thanks for being patient.***
September 4, 2014 — The new batch of questions slowly trickle in.
How can I approach someone with whom I share a literal distance barrier? How can I effectively bridge the gap and present myself?
If you are attempting to capture the attention of a potential significant other, the challenge can be more difficult when you are unable to have face-to-face conversation. However, that is not to say it cannot be done. First, you should probably find some type of bond or similar interest you have in common with that person and attempt to expand off of that. For instance, maybe you have the same major and were curious how they got that intern… that you heard about from a friend, of course. Just to give a basic scenario. Whatever the case is, you must be the one to start the effort if you feel inclined to let them know how you feel. After the initial connection, take a step further and keeping talking and showing off your true personality and more getting to know them and then eventually try to occasionally meet with your “crush” for lack of a better word; if the opportunity arises. Until then make sure you are always on their radar. I am sure you can use your imagination and be creative enough to figure out small ways to do that. Just remember, don’t be afraid to branch out of your comfort zones. If you want to make something happen… go out and work for it.
June 13, 2014 –I apologize. Most of these posts are from early May to recent. I caught up on my tumblr, but I just now got to adding them to this wordpress. Enjoy. Don’t be scared to ask more!
I am a freshman in college and have a boyfriend that I adore and love very much. I am nervous if I am not “supposed” to have a boyfriend right now at this point in college. People have influenced me to think that I should not have a boyfriend and that I should see what else if out there because I am so young. What do you think…
College is a time to explore and go crazy, but that doesn’t mean you have to be single. Yeah, it’d be fun to keep your options open and see what’s out there, but if you like how things are don’t let someone persuade you into thinking that’s not okay. Just remember college is the place to make new friends and new memories… Find bridesmaids! So let yourself have the freedom to do that. Don’t be attached at the hip with your boy, but if you love him you don’t have to break up with him. It’s your life; don’t let others tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Enjoy your college years cutie. Live it up!
I’ve only taken one final but I am already over studying. How do I stay on track and focused for the rest of the week? Sincerely, expert in procrastination.
Dear Expert in Procrastination,
You just have to take one day at a time. Designate 30 minutes of hard work on one subject and alternate to keep your brain alert. Don’t jumble it up too much though. DO NOT FORGET TO EXERCISE. I know it feels like there is no time to get in a work out when you are cramming for finals, but leave the book at home and hit the gym for 30 mins… Or even better run or walk outside to get some fresh air. One other tip I find very helpful is finding a new place to study, but not somewhere that will distract you. If you are from Fort Worth I would recommend Brewed… It’s my favorite place to study. And lastly, turn off your electronics for AT LEAST an hour worth of studying. GOOD LUCK!
I am not the biggest of my friend’s boyfriend. I fear that he is subconsciously making her do things she does not want to do. How can I help her without losing her more to her boyfriend?
Instead of calling her out for complying with her boyfriend’s wants. Ask her what her wants are without her boyfriend’s opinion. You have to help her see the problem herself without directly telling her to look at it from your view. In the meantime, invite her to do fun things with you all the time and she will cherish those moments and it may even open up her eyes to help her use her OWN choices on what she wants to do. Try not to attack the bad boyfriend, attack the problem. Good luck!
P.S. If this didn’t make sense ask again in a week. Finals are kicking my butt and Abby isn’t at her prime currently.
When is the honeymoon stage in a relationship over?
The honeymoon phase is over after the first 3 big fights. Just kidding! I think it’s something you and your partner will figure out as time goes on. I can’t say when it will be in your relationship or anyone else’s either; but give your relationship the time to have it’s ups and downs and I think you’ll have a better understanding of what I’m trying to say. Happy honeymooning ;)!
April 19, 2014
How long should you wait to say I love you in a relationship?
The big three words are rarely ever planned. In most cases “i love you’ naturally slips out, whether it means to or not. Make sure than when you do say it that you mean it and that it is not forced. Don’t be caught up in the honeymoon-dating phase and jump the gun. Wait long enough to see if it is love versus infatuation. Infatuation is finding your lover to be flawless while love is knowing your lover is flawed and loving him/her anyway. Choose wisely, not timely.
April 17, 2014
Last night my boyfriend and I had plans to hang out, but around 11 he told me he was too tired to hang out. He always does this. What can I do? I don’t want to sound like a needy girlfriend. Please help!
It is hard to not seem clingy when all you want is to hang out with your boyfriend whenever you have free time. Sometimes boys don’t get that you just want their undivided attention for a while. Remind your boyfriend that you need some TLC, but give him space to do his own thing every once in a while. Make it clear that he doesn’t always have to say yes when you ask him to hang out and that will make him seem less flakey. You don’t want to be waiting all night for him to come over if he is going to keep pushing it off and then bail last minute. Manage your own time and don’t depend on his word if you think he is going to flake out. I hope this helps.
is eating a bowl of ice cream before bed every night beneficial to ones health?
As long as it makes you happy. Being happy is always good for your health. However if you want a professional medical opinion I would ask somewhere else.
What are your views on homosexuality and Christianity?
My opinion is exclusive to my faith and I am not here to advocate my reasoning. From a traditional Christian standpoint homosexuality is frowned upon. Interpret this how you will. I don’t have a particular opinion about how I feel, but this is what I believe to be what I know so far. Stay curious and ask questions before boasting about your opinion.
I’m stuck in a rut. I long for “best-friend-like” friendships as well as I’m longing for guy friends. Help!
Some of my very best friends are guys. I feel more comfortable telling them my secrets more so than I do tell my girl friends sometimes. To make a friend you have to be a friend. Make a long lasting relationship by committing to being the best friend you can possibly be and more than likely that friendship will succeed. Find the best of both worlds! I hope that helps!
I long to be loved, but I am comfortable living in a simple life. Do I need to push myself out of my comfort zone to “find someone” or should I wait for “Mr. Perfect” to come to me?
It is always a good idea to branch out of your comfort zone and meet new people. However, don’t push yourself into a relationship that you’re not ready for. Remember though, you have many Mr. Wrongs to go through before you meet Mr. Right. As for now search for love from your friends and family and don’t be afraid to add some flavor to your life by meeting new people. Goodluck!
What if you are trying to respect the boundaries of your married kids and never show up unannounced or uninvited (and rarely do invites come) but when they do, you show up gladly and then 5 years later they say they feel ingnored???
Patience is a virtue. With time, good souls will find their way back to home and love will be returned. Don’t dwell on the could haves, you’ve done your best. If you feel like asking for invites is crossing a boundary, instead offer the invitation on your premises more frequently and the invitation will eventually become reciprocated. I know it is hard to be walking on eggshells, especially when you are trying to express love that feels unrequited. More often than not, claiming to be “ignored” is a way to seek for attention. Give it the attention it needs and be patient as things will find themselves being pieced back together. Stay strong and optimistic.
Hey everyone! I am trying to make a Dear Abby advice column and I would love your help. I am just getting started and figuring out how to get it up and running. I plan to anonymously post the questions and concerns and add my advice. Ask me questions here! We can get started and I will show you how it works!
Cheers to Easter and getting a small break off of school. I am not going to Capri anytime soon, but springtime is still peeping through this bipolar Texas weather. Thanks to my nana and her wonderful taste in scents, Cheers to Capri limoncello candle is the brightest way to hop into spring. Hop Hop Hop. While I am stuck here at school for the three day break I plan on sitting in my room with the pretty yellow candle lit and buckling down to finish those three papers that are all due the day we get back from break. Lucky me. And though I have been feeling defeated by this treacherous turmoil they call college, this little candle brings light to my life, yes… physically and metaphorically. Since Nana has given me this gift I have had a little pep in my step. Today I told myself that I was not going to awkwardly avoid someone that I kind of know. I was going to smile at them and say hi. For the most part it went pretty well and I was in a good mood for the entire day (rare occasion). Yes, there were a few awkward moments when people may have not recognized me right away or that I hadn’t talked to in a while, but in the long run I think people appreciated my outgoingness and I could tell it put a smile on some of their faces. And that was the goal. Smiling is contagious. The little yellow Cheers to Capri brings sunshine to my life just with a sweet scent and I hope to share that light with people just by shining a quick smile. Another highlight of the day was showing Caitlin the sweet little New Testament booklet that some people at TCU had handed out the prior week. I snuck into her room and asked if I could have it. She easily gave it away without a second thought. But then she asked if I actually read The Bible. I said yes I do, every night and most mornings. She told me she had trouble comprehending what she reads from The Bible, well technically she said articulating, but I knew what she meant. I told her that I knew someone who sat down with me to examine just one scripture, line by line, word by word, just to break it down and understand its full meaning. I had never thought I would have time to dig into the meaning. I usually take the short cut and just assume what it says is essentially the meaning and think no more than it. But, I have found it important to actually discover our own interpretation of The Bible. Tonight, Caitlin and I decided that every night before we go to bed we will get together and read a piece from that little New Testament booklet. We plan to discuss it with each other and understand it from our own perspectives. I am grateful to have a friend who shares the same faith and the same curiosity as I do. I will keep you updated on what we have discovered together. Here is a little sneak peek about what we looked at tonight. The topic was stress and this is a recommended verse.
For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
Caitlin and I decided that it means God will find a way to keep us from the stress that finds its way to us. He will set us high on a rock where we can look out at life freely and see the greater picture of living and understand that the things that stress us out are minor compared to the greater gift of life. Share with us your interpretations of the Psalm 27:5. Any suggestions for tomorrows Bible reading? Let us know. Here was my verse of the day for this mornings reading. Enjoy!
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-1 Thessalonians 5:18